What do you do when your spouse has hobbies and interests that you do not care for? What happens when he/she has no interest in the things you like to do?  Is that okay in a marriage, or should you do something about it?

Note: This post original appeared on my blog, JackieBledsoe.comand has been one of the most popular posts.

 

The Ultimate Merger

When two people come together in marriage you are literally bringing two different worlds together, and attempting to co-exist in a way that both people are better off.  No easy task.  The husband has a unique personality, background, and interest.  And so does the wife.

However, you are to become one. So what do you do when your wife doesn’t want anything to do with something you are very passionate about and enjoy spending time doing?  Wives, what happens when your husband runs the other way when you want to do your favorite things.  Are you okay with that?  Should you be okay with it?  How should you handle it?

First, I don’t think this is uncommon.  As said before, marriage brings two completely different people together to function as one.  So be encouraged if you are constantly going in opposite directions in relation to your favorite interests.  You are not alone.  There are a few things you should do when you face this.

Show respect

The worst thing you can do, and belittle, mock or show distaste for their hobby.  If your spouse loves it and you don’t, at a minimum respect it.  That means if it is watching sports, then show respect by not interrupting or trying to distract from his/her time.  If it is working out, then arrange things so they can work out.  Encourage their efforts even if you are allergic to the gym.

Learn more

Why does your spouse have an interest in this?  Find out.  If your spouse likes to spend time doing something, when you learn more about it you have the opportunity to learn more about your spouse. What makes this so intriguing to them, and might I become interested in it as well?  You just might, and this may lead to you both enjoying the same hobby.  However, if he/she wants this hobby to be their “personal” hobby then you have to respect that.

Find common interests

Even if you show respect and learn more, you still may be worlds apart when it comes to certain hobbies and things you like to do.  That is still okay.  At this point you should begin to find or develop common interests and hobbies.  I suggested in in a previous post that you find something that both of you have no experience, and learn it/do it together.  I’ve witnessed this developing of common interest in my parent’s marriage of 48 years.

 

So yes, you should do something about having different hobbies than your spouse. Ultimately whatever you do should lead to your relationship growing in respect, understanding, and becoming closer.

Back to top