I’ve learned that when we come into marriage we all have our own expectations and ideas about how the ideal marriage should work. We all want the same thing—a good marriage, a happy marriage, a lasting and fulfilling marriage—but we have different ideas on what gets us there.

Note: This post originally appeared on Jackie’s blog, JackieBledsoe.comand has been one of the blog’s most popular posts.

My wife Stephana and I didn’t really talk about this before we got married, and it was years into our marriage before we began to do so. We got married and just went on expecting things to end up “happily ever after” because that’s what we both wanted, even though we didn’t discuss it. Nope, didn’t happen.

We soon began to realize the things I thought were most important and essential for our marriage to work weren’t always the things she saw. After plenty of mistakes, many frustrations, and much counsel we began to grow in this area and eventually learned what made it possible for us to have that good, happy, lasting, and fulfilling marriage.

Recently, I wanted to find out what others thought made up a great marriage, or the ideal marriage. So, I sent out this question:

“What two words would you use to describe the ideal marriage?”

And just like with Stephana and myself, there were many different thoughts and opinions on how to have that “ideal marriage.” One person even said there is no ideal marriage, but “adventurous experiments.” After reading through all of the responses to my question, I decided to compile them into a list of 50 words that describe the ideal marriage.

  1. Compromise
  2. Dedication
  3. Humor-filled
  4. Christ-centered
  5. Respectful
  6. Godly
  7. Safe
  8. Effort
  9. Acceptance
  10. Great sex!
  11. Patience
  12. Perseverance
  13. Silly
  14. Loyalty
  15. Dedication
  16. Communication
  17. Honest
  18. Fun
  19. God-ordained
  20. Laughter
  21. Kindness
  22. Forgiving
  23. Understanding
  24. Passionate
  25. Gracious
  26. God
  27. Friendship
  28. Familiar
  29. Relaxed
  30. Faithfulness
  31. Truth
  32. Consistency
  33. Love
  34. Hope
  35. Commitment
  36. Sacrifice
  37. Open-minded
  38. God’s love
  39. Togetherness
  40. Oneness
  41. Best friends
  42. Partnership
  43. Self-awareness
  44. Partners
  45. God-sent
  46. Blessed
  47. Influential
  48. Grace-filled
  49. Caring
  50. Serving

Whether you agree or disagree with the words above, it helps to pose the question in your own marriage. Maybe you and your spouse are wanting the same thing, but not sure how to get there together. Understanding what makes the ideal marriage for you both, and your marriage is a key to help you on this journey.

Understanding what makes the ideal marriage is key to help you get there together. Click To Tweet

I encourage you to read this list together, discuss it, and make sure you are taking the steps toward your ideal marriage. What words would you use to describe the ideal marriage? Do these words describe your marriage now?

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